When I was younger, and I spent days at my grandmother's house, I remember her picking flowers from her garden in the morning. By the afternoon, the stems were flaccid and the leaves circled the vase like wedding confetti. But I bought £1 plastic-looking posies from Tesco last week. They had a fourteen-day guarantee on them and they lasted fourteen days exactly. I couldn't believe it, and I really wonder how they came to last so long. There was something sinister about it.

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